Wednesday, June 28, 2006

yippee yippee yum yum ! goodie goodie gum drop !

i don't have anything to say, but i didn't realize people were actually going to look at the blog when i put that picture up.


Sunday, June 25, 2006

it's like wonderbread on steroids

who told my professor i already graduated?
it's my deepest darkest secret. how could you rat me out like that? just kidding. i'm sorry to brag, but i worked my butt off. (and my family's too)
now if only dr. matheson will see the light and give me an a on my final.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


today is june 21. (happy 8 month birthday, mark and paul.)
that means a number of things.
1-9 days left to do your visiting teaching
2-the day my parents got engaged (they got married on the 22nd. more on that later.)
3-that concert that i shouldn't go to
4-the last day of 3701 (check it. i learned the numbers)
5-the summer solstice

now, knowing me, you would think i would be all over this.
i would think that to.

i know today is the "official" first day of the best season ever--summer, but i can't help but find it a bit anticlimactic, since for me (and all other reasonable people in the world) summer began way back when i drove with my windows down for the first time and was out at night without a jacket.

i know that all kinds of pagan rituals and stuff are totally appropriate today. and susan is totally going to a solstice party and making me feel like a boring person. but in all honesty, i don't think there's anything to celebrate.
the longest day. the most sunshine of the year. yes, this is heaven on earth, but then starting tomorrow each day gets shorter.

i feel like i should be in mourning.

today i saw

an old man standing on the east side of 900 E taking pictures of an old lady standing under a tree on the west side of 900 E wearing a skirt, a hat and holding a parasol.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

there's a solitary man crying,

"dear internet," she began, in a pathetic attempt to make the reality less real by mocking it, "today i went to work."
she failed and she knew she had failed. but she wouldn't stop. she couldn't admit defeat. she couldn't admit that the internet was, in fact, her only friend.

and now that friend too had abandoned her.
now she must grovel. she must migrate from the temporary companionship of an office computer to the unfamiliar and unwelcoming wireless of the library. only to return home to the taunting solitude.
everything she thought of reminded her of something she could do with the internet. she must put it out of her head.

but it was too early to retire. she felt powerless. cutoff. and yet, she still couldn't bring herself to pay the $50/month to get her own wireless connection.

deep inside her, she knew one day soon she would.

last night linds and i closed down the library. (not hard to do thanks to the lame-o summer hours.) we didn't accomplish anything because as we entered we were asked to examine the new proposed chair for the library.
not only were they proposing a chair, they were asking us to fill out a survey.
not only were asking us to fill out a survey, they were offering to personally respond to us.
we couldn't resist.

we headed to the second floor, and looked to the right of the general reference desk. at last we found the box.
next to the sample chairs were a few of the current chairs. we dutifully tested both. trying each study pose we could think of.
at first i was put off by the lack of arm rests, but the sleek design, the surprising cushiness, the ability to lean back on two legs and (as linds pointed out) the ability to be wiped down and thereby promote hygiene won me over.
i gave it an "all in all i'm in favor" and emphatically requested a personal response.

i hope you will do your duty as a responsible citizen and try the chairs for yourself.
thank you.
and goodnight.

Friday, June 16, 2006

catch phrase

we ended our last day by hittin up the hardee's for some hand-scooped shakes. (the DQ --traditional beach night treat-- had a line out the door and into the parking lot.) the moon's not out yet, but the stars are close and friendly, so i said goodbye to them.
today was beautiful. lots of swimming.

too much swimming. while it's decidedly NOT swimmer's ear, i can't hear a thing and haven't since i came in (just for a breather, but my ears didn't clear and the rest of the fam soon followed me out) from the after-lunch swim session. it's like that sick, disoriented feeling you get when you're not wearing your contacts, but with your ears.
curse my tender sinuses!

my parents went for pizza and not too much later every cell phone in the house began to ring. when we finally found one in time to answer it, my mom told chris that she had lost my father. she ordered the pizza, but when she turned around he had disappeared. he later showed up in a nearby shop, swearing he'd told her where he was going.

later, after shakespeare got bitten by a snake on meerkat manor and the aliens started coming out of the corn on signs, i instigated the shake run.

we gotta pack up cause liz and jordan fly out tomorrow, but i'll leave you with the last castle.

yet another example of why you have an artist for a brother-in-law.

jordie's gallery/observatory. (i don't really remember what we decided it was.)

maria and bryan headed up the commune. (connected by a trade route, running parallel to the shoreline, to the main castle.)

we built this yesterday. liz and jord were "castled out" but chris started right in. i jumped at the chance to get in on the ground floor, as it were. i played engineer and worked on the outer defenses. the whole family helped.
and it took until nearly 10 for the face to become deteriorated. even the commune lasted well beyond our hopes. we had to have a flashlight to see what was going on when the tide finally started coming in.
the closest thing to a compliment i heard was a question of whether it was a temple to a pagan god.

we didn't build today. the weather was much too nice for us to not be in the water, and most backs were already itching from a few days' toil in the sun.

tomorrow we head back to durham for a bit and fly back to utah sunday night.
what a shame.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


"it doesn't even look real. it's just too perfect."

after watching the flooding of raleigh and durham on the news, our brief run-in with tropical storm alberto took us to wilmington for a movie and dinner. upon our return the sun was shining and all looks hopeful for real swimming tomorrow (knock on wood and cross your fingers).

the yellow moon rises over still rough seas and i find myself once again prone to melodramatic attempts at spanish poetry.

(here i am teaching maria to say "...las nubes, !ay! !que negras son!!" on day one.)

and since it's already after midnight and my paper is now due on monday, the sand castles.

day one:

(i'm sorry, i just have to point out my favorite part of the first picture. in the background you can see maria forcibly dragging jenny into the fierce and frigid [pardon the poetic hyperbole] ocean for some boogie boarding "fun".)

day two: (liz and jord's handiwork. it was too cold for the rest of us, and once the rain started, too cold for them to finish.)

hmm. i just realized that we weren't nearly so camera happy with liz's castle. ooops.
with the gloomy weather, the familial lethargy also set in.

this castle was really quite a feat. structurally sound, so much so that we were unable to beat the rain to see it crumble. the central bridge had two arches underneath, and due to my last minute feats of engineering, we were able to construct two canals that pulled in the sea water before the waves battered the battlements. the moat filled beautifully. among the many compliments, our favorite was from a 10-year-old girl who said, "our sand castle looks like crap compared with this one."


Monday, June 12, 2006

gracious me!!

i completely forgot to tell you the whole reason i decided to sit down and tell you all about the goodness that is the beach.
remember how i asked you all to sign up and be my blingo friends and you said things like "i don't like signing up for things"? well, that wasn't smart or nice.

last night chris was looking for something and... HUZZAH!!! i won!
chris and i both got a free movie ticket or $10 at itunes. i took the music. and now i am cool and you can repent and sign up to be my friend so you can win too!

this could be you:


thursday night i tried to be prompt about getting off work so i could deliver my visiting teaching routes and meet the girls. it was nearly 9:30 so i decided to forego making treats and just say hi. there was thunder and lightning and it was pouring down rain so i decided to walk.
i returned home, dripping.


friday night and saturday day i spent in Durham, NC revisiting the sites and foods of my childhood.


saturday night i had a full moon over the ocean on one side and a lightning storm on the other.
only in heaven could you simultaneously have my two favorite celestial phenomena PLUS the ocean and a beautiful warm night.

yesterday at church the bishop told my dad we had come at a good time because a week ago the water had still been "cold"; "around 70".


the forecast says the thunderstorms will stay all week, but we've had sunshine bastante. i could wish it was a little hotter (i need that oppressive heat to get me into the ocean since my salt water allergies have not abated and i still get itchy and splotchy), but all in all it's, well, heavenly. (the only other minor annoyance: my hair. my hair has gotten over excited by the return to the homeland and has over-done the curliness so that now i just look like medusa. nice.)

after pancakes we head out, the brothers-in-law head up the castle building (complete with suburbs) and mom goes to buy a boogie board.
a little swimming (as i said, i would wish it warmer still, and it's been pretty rough-- for the atlantic.) and we head in for world cup and lunch. now it's lazy time. the brothers-in-law are playing tony hawk while their wives sleep and sun themselves. my mother and sister watch and nap, my brother and father take their turn in the water (they missed the morning swim doing various and sundry) and i, the perpetual odd-man-out, attempt to express something to you, the internet. (i'm not feeling sorry for myself; they actually call me "the odd man out". i try to put it onto tros[bryan] since jen and i share the bunk beds, but it's true. mom and dad are the parents. maria and chris are maria and chris. liz and jord are liz and jord. and jenny and bry are the little kids. they even have little-kid games and little-kid-we're-the-only-ones-still-at-home inside jokes and stuff. it's a bummer.)

it's not all fun and games, however (although i did finally learn how to play settlers last night). i actually have a ton of work to do. but, as you might imagine, motivation is lacking.

also, chris is like the super genius of all that is awesome and has periodically been showing me cool internet/computer things. if suddenly my blog starts looking the cooler than you can handle, you'll know why.

day one of the beach. if i don't write anymore until i get back, be proud of me for doing my homework.

(i'll try to get some cool pictures of the sand castle.)

some people wonder why i cut my hairs off.

a cry for help, yeah, a warning to stay away.
"the only other minor annoyance: my hair. my hair has gotten over excited by the return to the homeland and has over-done the curliness so that now i just look like medusa. nice."

Thursday, June 08, 2006


(epiphany is on the secret department list of terms. oooh. don't you feel fancy?)

so you know that part in hook where he gets confused and says "i just had an apostrophe!" and he means 'i just had an epiphany'? and remember how liz and i thought that was funny as children and started using apostrophe in place of epiphany? and now i can't stop and sound dumb?

today we were actually talking about apostrophes (funny, that was last week in my esl class...) and the example he gave was a poem to the moon. and it dawned on me, whoa!! i've been saying it right all these years. i regularly go to The Park by the U to talk to the moon. i have apostrophes every night!!! (except when he's being shy)

just thought i'd tell you.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

dumpster diving

cheese? i didn't say anything about cheese.
i totally saved this chair

from this fate:

can you believe it?
now, i love my neighbors, they're great girls, vivian even got a linguistics degree and served a mission in england, but what the crap were they thinking putting that thing out for neighborhood clean-up?

valerie and i snagged it just in the nick of time. (9pm two days before the pick-up). she is kindly allowing me to keep it since i saw it first and it was so obviously meant for me. i mean really. it's perfect. now if only i can find someone to help me carry it upstairs...

oh. and cause t.r. said he sometimes peruses the blog, the concert was lovely. i had a blast. you guys are awesome. and i meant to buy a cd. but didn't. dumb, dumb me.
listen to the gift cd. i forgot the secret decoder ring, but i think you can figure it out.

over and out.

Friday, June 02, 2006

just watching myself in some play and the actress looks like she wants to go home and lie in a bed all day, yeah lie in a big bed all day

i went down to the prov last night. (joey, i love you. and yes, i don't look forward to becoming a purple cow.)(al, i love you and i think we should at least try to do one of the morning classes on the 24th, would the sisters like to come?)(ju, i love you and i'll for sure check with bombadil about sleeping in her bed.)(heather, i'm sure i love you and, yes, your hair is red.) i saw the end of help! and went to a late night wendy's run and watched a late night dishes do and got up and went to get my hair cut. unfortunately it took 3 hours. i missed the class i CAN'T miss. so i just emailed a 'please don't kill me' email to my professor. and i am tired. more than that, though, i look awful. i have ENORMOUS bags under my eyes. it's not pretty. my hair is short, which makes me happy. my hair is pretty tame, which makes me sad. i think this may be the last time i get this same haircut. besides the fact that it takes 3 hours for them to do it, i'm pretty well done. i'm getting boring. i saw a girl with a faux-hawk and i wanted it. scary, i know. but she was way cute.

the peony festival is tomorrow.
rennie called and my meeting is cancelled. so that's good. only the peonies haven't bloomed. mom just called and said she was tempted to buy some at the cost, but decided it just wasn't right. i guess it's more of a rose/poppy festival.
i have lots of the homework to do, but i'm just sittin at the lib talking to you from my brand-new, fancy-pants, uber-i don't-even-know cool computer.
except that the lib closes in 1/2 an hour. bummer. check it.
zanzibar. tonight. yup.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

portrait of the artist as a young man

(reading orlando puts that in a completely new light)

reader meet author with the hope of hearing sense, but you may be feeling let down...

so last night, seconds before i jumped up and ran to the library to write this and minutes before i learned that the library in fact closes at 10 during the summer (and the lab at 9:45--lame-o. what happened to 2am? those were the good old days.), i discovered something very disturbing about myself.

i was sitting at the table, eating some ice cream (you have to eat it all before it gets frosty and nasty, you know), and watching hud from afar. i picked up the nearest reading material to hand and found myself more worked up about something i was reading than i have been in a long time. i was commenting aloud, shifting in my seat; unable to contain my excitement.

and then i stepped outside of myself and said, "so it has come to this. the only thing that gets me excited is the grocery ads."

and, indeed, after blandly perusing the smiths' ad, i had picked up the albertsons' to find the "10 for $10". my initial reaction was, of course, "i don't need 10 half-gallons of milk." but then i saw the "mix and match" and the juices started flowing. at about the point i started considering how well the seedless cucumbers would complement the peony festival i laughed at myself, realized i had missed a day on the dossier, jumped up and announced to valerie and abraham that i was going to the library.