you know what, i'm already up late.

so. i work for a non-profit. which i like. i struggle with money and sacrificing everything especially humanity for the sake of profits. (oh! and i was just checking out the yes men thanks to the uccs gallery of contemporary art blog.)
in order to pay the bills, namely my salary, we rely on grants from the federal government. my boss "writes" these grants, but this year he asked me to review it and help out, if i could. what i found when i started reading nearly killed me. it made no sense and was woefully cut and pasted from any number of previous drafts, documents, letters, who knows. one piece of information that i tried to salvage referred to a study that had been done about something and someone. (i'm blocking the recollection because we were turned down for the grant and my future life has gotten considerably more stressed and, forgive the pun, underfunded.) i gathered a few words from what i found and blingoed them and eventually found my source and cited it. before i found that source, however, i happened upon this picture:

i'm just gonna let you read the caption for yourself and react...however you please.
goodnight.

oh you you you you you

i'm posting from my dashboard.  i think that's kind of fun.  silly, but excellent good fun.
some people didn't understand yesterday.  they needn't worry.  it's not really supposed to make sense.  that's partly the point and partly the cipher of making a journal public.

i tried, but the old devils, they found me in my hut, poured through the windows; they cornered me so i cried out, to no one:

i give up.

you know, if i were a rock star, no one would care that i was "suitably eccentric". they would think it was cool. they would be so excited to be the beneficiary (i was going to say victim) of my insanity. i would get all kinds of slack for all kinds of oddities. and the thing is, really, i wouldn't even have to be talented. just brazen enough to be a rock star.

my mom once said i had the soul of a rock star. as near as i could tell she said it because when i sing along to music, i don't sing so much as imitate, mimic, the singer i'm listening to. she said i could "capture" any voice (not true in the slightest) but she only had her voice. only one way of singing. i, on the other hand, have no idea what my own voice sounds like because the only time i sing is if i'm trying to sound like someone else. i wanted that to be a metaphor for life, but it's not. not my life. happily, not my life at all.
maybe that's what she meant.



mondays oughtn't to feel like fridays. i had good intentions, but i'm still not in bed and i haven't accomplished a durn thing since 6:30pm.

people are going away. it's sad and it's not sad, somehow.



sincere. earnest. erin hoffman is good for words. she's not wrong.





but then again, maybe people would be just as patronizing to a rock star, when it came to real life, as they are to me.

saudi

so, since there's no bulk uploader for blogger, if you're interested, you can see the rest of the pictures i found from saudi here.


for the most part, i believe these were taken by my then 13 yr. old sister. i was 11.

peach, plum, pear. peach, plum...

we all know that i love love love ikea. we also all know that i was wary of opening an ikea in utah cause i was afraid it would become the next krispy kreme (such a fiasco.) but today i went with the fam and realized i never should have worried.
ikea is going to single-handedly (or maybe double-handedly, with those big heart pillows with hands...) save america. they are using the affinity for the trendy for good.
sometimes ikea telling you how and in what order to shop can get a little smothering, but also, you know you can trust them. i like that they tell you how it works and you can just take it or leave it. you bus your tables at the restaurant whether you like it or not. and you can put that coffee table together yourself, thank you very much. i like that they expect you to step up.
and that don't offer you big, excessive stuff just cause that's what you think you want.
stuff is cheap, stuff is small. stuff is fun.
but how is ikea going to save america? well, i'll tell you. they are charging you to use disposable bags. they are selling you big reusable bags for cheap. they are taking the money you insist on paying just so you can have a useless plastic bag and not have to bring in your blue bag next time, and donating it to help reforest america. i think that's nice. i've always said the only way to make people care about the environment is to charge them for being wasteful.
also, you can't recycle glass in utah. i don't know why. but you can recycle glass, light bulbs and batteries at ikea.

hip hip hooray for ikea.

important to note

hindawi publishing corporation has their office at 410 park avenue, New York, NY.

keep it in mind.