backstop

oh goodness. i'm having more fun than you'd believe. learning new words is great. ask joey.

keep commenting on that last one. seriously. it's important. "Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?"

but in other news.
this was supposed to be entitled "the best laid plans" and i was going to explain why i told you to "look out for tomorrow" and then didn't post and what those "big plans" were and why they fell through.

minutes after i wrote that post i checked my email and discovered that the funding had run out on my job at CAIL and i would be back on the job hunt starting may 15.
the 3-hour nervous breakdown that this triggered (but probably didn't cause) set me back a bit in my homework. and contemplating the impending expiry of my supplemental income as i sat in my car outside graywhale literally holding the dime for the parking meter in my hand, i decided to pass on the pretty girls make graves concert and go home. it was wisdom. i can see that now.
but i have a fear of walking in to new places alone. related to, but stronger than, my fear of going to new places alone and in direct conflict with my enjoyment of new places and my secret relish for attending things alone.
"so," you may say, "this decision saved you from discovering the avalon alone. why the but?" well, here's the thing: i had recently confessed this fear to a number of less than helpful friends and one very encouraging one. my pride had steeled me against the fear and a well documented and adventurous venture entered the planning stages. i would work on my finals all day and reward myself by a night out with a camera and some people to show up.
so i was attached to the night out. that was the big plans: pictures of me busting in on the avalon.
as it turned out i used up almost an entire pad of paper and stayed up til 2 working on the dumb thing. i finished it the next morning. i actually feel ok about that one.
then i started my syntax final. why i had to wait until semantics was done i'll never know.
but having denied myself the pgmg i took myself to kilby. there i had a lovely time with cate and her cool mom. but got home late and tired.
so basically monday rolls around and nothing's written (the 20-pager is due tuesday...night...wednesday morning by 7) but i have all my data and a topic. should be good, right? wrong. by 11 (morning. remember the 24-hour clock, people; i'm not that bad), still nothing written but quite a bit more read. apparently i have picked for my syntax 2 paper a dissertation topic without a solution (seriously. i read the dissertation. it didn't help). so i decided to take a new course.
thank heaven for stacey. stacey says no. stacey says no says no to a lot of things, but stacey said yes to helping me. we talked it all out, i called in sick to work (shame and guilt for the rest of my life. i can't think about it.) and got it all done. by 2:30. time to spare. props to scott for the pdfs and my professor even emailed me back and said he hoped i would "consider coming back to us for graduate work." (i'm sorry. i just really have to tell people that cause i was so flattered. i know i'm bragging. but it's my blog, right? and i'm pretty much the only one who reads it, which is lame anyway since i write it, because it's boring and it's secret.)
anyway. with 3-4 hours of sleep under my belt i went to work, picked up my cap and gown (i have to be at school at 7:50. i'm not sure graduation is worth that), had lunch in the car with jenny, went to my other work, got home to "watch a movie and clean my room!", found out that while not letting yourself out of the house, not even to buy food, helps you get your finals in on-time, it cuts down on the amount of food in your house (and your sanity), went to the store, bought the food, came home, was too tired to make the food, ate some crispx (i totally splurged. they don't even have decent sized boxes, but valerie has some and i haven't eaten crispx in a million years and living on fruit loops is not fun. it's just not. i have never regretted buying a sugar cereal so much. ick. moving on.) and went to bed. got up early, did a 1/2 hour of work, got on trax, got on a bus, went to my old house, got my yeast back, went to lunch, went to the museum (very nice, i liked it), went to my parents' house, lost my phone, went to work and now you are up to date.
i'd like to rejoice in not having school for two weeks, but i'm still so busy. graduation tomorrow, cleaning the institute on sat (8? are they really serious about this?) and early church. not that i'm all about sleeping in, but it would be nice to have a chance. and i missed anna's wedding tonight. darn. oh. but cool thing: my aunt wants me to go over and help her plan her vegetable garden. i love gardens.
anyway. off to the other work (he wants it done by "friday" but i think he forgot that i'm graduating so i'm not going in to work. oh well. it's only 2 pages.)
goodnight.

oh. and the title has nothing to do with this.
...or anything. just ignore.




no... my eyes are not shifty.