i work at the library almost every day.
today i was going about my business as usual and just as i pulled the final volume of the jahrbuch der osterreichischen byzantinischen gesellschaft my eye was caught by something unusual: there was something wedged between the shelves.
i was further intrigued by the metallic glint of what i saw.
feeling it my duty as a library employee, i carefully reached in and removed the can of nalley original chili con carne with beans and placed it on the blue re-shelving shelf as i do with everything i find out of place.
i continued my work, this time working my way through vizantiiksii vremennik (i'm told that is the romanization of the cyrillic), and the chili con carne with beans (note: "con carne with beans" not "con carne y frijoles" there is an important distinction between food items that can be left in spanish and others, like beans, which must be translated for the good of the public) was soon followed by campbell's chunky chicken noodle soup
and healthy choice chicken with rice soup.
now, in my mind there can be only 3 reasons why there would be a cluster of canned foods in the DF 501's:
1- someone thinks they are funny/i am on candid camera.
2- some campus group is either planning or recently held a scavenger hunt in the library. the canned goods would suggest a service project of some sort.
3- somewhere there is a very paranoid librarian. it is true that you cannot eat in the library. but, however much like superhumans they may seem, even librarians need to eat. most offices will furnish a small refrigerator and microwave fulfill this need for sustenance, so why would you store your canned goods in the stacks? well, as i see it, someone's been stealing someone else's lunch and someone's taking back a little of their own.
or perhaps it's a rogue student. they find themselves passing most of their days and lives in the frigid corners of the library and think to themselves, "i need a good, hearty, warm meal.i'd really like some chili. but i don't want to lug around a can of chili all day... i know! i'll keep a can in the stacks for when i get hungry. then i can run to a local microwave and warm my soul."
the only flaw in this explanation is that there are no local microwaves on the u campus. sure, there are microwaves, but you have to have some kind of an in to get at them. (maybe you work at the library, maybe you work at the union, maybe you know katie register, maybe you happen to be in the mbh when the classroom with the microwave doesn't have a class, maybe you have the magical powers to make the microwave in the osh turn on [and off.]) and if you don't, there's no way anyone's lugging a can of chili from the library to the institute just for a hot lunch. goodness.
but i digress.
why are there soup cans in the stacks? perhaps we should take a closer look at the cans themselves.
these are all top of the line name brands (note: not just campbell's chicken noodle, campbell's CHUNKY chicken noodle. there's a difference. you just go to the grocery store and check.)
these are not soups to be trifled with; obviously our culprit has a healthy appetite.
we have at very least 3 meals here, so this is not just a one-time fling. oh no. (unless it's a group... someone not working independently... but there's such a greater risk of discovery when you let other people in on the secret...)
based on the location within the library (mstkone/mst1asr) i would say this is a quiet student, if student it indeed is. the first floor is significantly more empty and the hushed sanctity of library silence is rarely, if ever, broken, even by turning pages.
you can often tell the academic pursuits of a student based on where they choose to study, i, myself, usually seek out the P call numbers in whatever library i may find myself.
this particular section is where france becomes greece.
a world traveller, perhaps, someone resourceful enough to think of hiding food and rebellious enough to do it in the library.
and healthy choice chicken with rice soup.
now, in my mind there can be only 3 reasons why there would be a cluster of canned foods in the DF 501's:
1- someone thinks they are funny/i am on candid camera.
2- some campus group is either planning or recently held a scavenger hunt in the library. the canned goods would suggest a service project of some sort.
3- somewhere there is a very paranoid librarian. it is true that you cannot eat in the library. but, however much like superhumans they may seem, even librarians need to eat. most offices will furnish a small refrigerator and microwave fulfill this need for sustenance, so why would you store your canned goods in the stacks? well, as i see it, someone's been stealing someone else's lunch and someone's taking back a little of their own.
or perhaps it's a rogue student. they find themselves passing most of their days and lives in the frigid corners of the library and think to themselves, "i need a good, hearty, warm meal.i'd really like some chili. but i don't want to lug around a can of chili all day... i know! i'll keep a can in the stacks for when i get hungry. then i can run to a local microwave and warm my soul."
the only flaw in this explanation is that there are no local microwaves on the u campus. sure, there are microwaves, but you have to have some kind of an in to get at them. (maybe you work at the library, maybe you work at the union, maybe you know katie register, maybe you happen to be in the mbh when the classroom with the microwave doesn't have a class, maybe you have the magical powers to make the microwave in the osh turn on [and off.]) and if you don't, there's no way anyone's lugging a can of chili from the library to the institute just for a hot lunch. goodness.
but i digress.
why are there soup cans in the stacks? perhaps we should take a closer look at the cans themselves.
these are all top of the line name brands (note: not just campbell's chicken noodle, campbell's CHUNKY chicken noodle. there's a difference. you just go to the grocery store and check.)
these are not soups to be trifled with; obviously our culprit has a healthy appetite.
we have at very least 3 meals here, so this is not just a one-time fling. oh no. (unless it's a group... someone not working independently... but there's such a greater risk of discovery when you let other people in on the secret...)
based on the location within the library (mstkone/mst1asr) i would say this is a quiet student, if student it indeed is. the first floor is significantly more empty and the hushed sanctity of library silence is rarely, if ever, broken, even by turning pages.
you can often tell the academic pursuits of a student based on where they choose to study, i, myself, usually seek out the P call numbers in whatever library i may find myself.
this particular section is where france becomes greece.
a world traveller, perhaps, someone resourceful enough to think of hiding food and rebellious enough to do it in the library.
if you think about it, it's a brilliant plan. i mean, it's kind of a good place to hide things. who reads books in cyrillic anyway?
no one would ever find your secret stash.
unless they were paid to go through books no one reads... (like me)
as i sit down to finish writing, my brother-in-law says something that reminds me that the library is undergoing major renovations and slc is undergoing major freezing-too-cold-out-your-mind temperatures and i think perhaps he is right and someone without another home is living in the library. perhaps the cans came from a food bank or homeless shelter. and maybe this joke isn't so funny after all.
unless they were paid to go through books no one reads... (like me)
as i sit down to finish writing, my brother-in-law says something that reminds me that the library is undergoing major renovations and slc is undergoing major freezing-too-cold-out-your-mind temperatures and i think perhaps he is right and someone without another home is living in the library. perhaps the cans came from a food bank or homeless shelter. and maybe this joke isn't so funny after all.
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2 comments:
a conundrum indeed. keep us posted. and when you find sliced beets, save 'em for me.
Of course, if they filed the cans alphabetically, it probably wasn't a homeless person.
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