Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Mystery in the Time of Certainty: or, i can't leave this title alone because i didn't write it and i think the person who did was making fun of me

why do i feel so much more conspicuous and ridiculous when i pace than when i walk in circles? pacing is a socially acceptable way to pass time, stay warm and assuage frustration and impatience. walking in circles invariably connotes insanity.
and yet, the abrupt about-face is still much too much for me to bear and i always give up on the pace before i even get to the end.
i like the continuous movement of a circle. and sometimes i like to watch and see if i will ever be able to stop gracefully.

today, as i found my circles contracting and then widening once again, i asked myself, if you must go in circles, is it better to walk in big circles or small ones?
on the one hand, if you walk in big circles, you feel as if you're going somewhere, you're making progress. and you get to see more.
but, on the other hand, if you stay in a small circle, you don't feel nearly so bad when you wind up back where you started from; you haven't wasted as much effort, and somehow the futility is lessened.
or does it matter at all whether the circles are big or small? maybe you're just killing time while you wait for a train to take you somewhere else entirely.

3 comments:

jo said...

i like bigger circles. sure, you may end up at the same place but at least you've learned something along the way. they seem to be more adventurous even though they are in fact circles. it's the little circles that drive you crazy. and you experience much less in the meantime. I'm not a fan of the smaller circles. in fact i've been working like a mad man to get rid of 'em.

the anna said...

shall we focus, then, on changing the circles to spirals?
only, i always think of spirals getting smaller and smaller. and i would want these to get bigger and bigger. is there a word for that, my wise young friend?

Unknown said...

I don't like pacing-it's too nervous for me. But circles seem more casual. UVSC is one big building/network of above ground tunnels. And I walk around and around in circles through UVSC almost everyday.

Also, I drive in a circle to and from work and school. I go south east to work/school and I come home north west.

I like circles.