yo yo yo it's april

two funny stories:
1- my sister called me yesterday. (i have 3 sisters. oldest, maria, lives in colorado springs. next, liz, lives in boston. younger, jen, lives in the sl of the c. this was liz calling.)
i was driving home from work and was pleasantly surprised.
"so mom tells me that maria is flying out for your graduation?" she begins with a slightly, ever so slightly, accusatory tone.
"yes..." i respond, wondering if she is offended that we're not flying her out. (hey. $44 is a good deal. if it was $44 from boston to slc, we'd fly her out too.)
"you're graduating?!!"

2-i don't like the union. unfortunately, i often eat breakfast there. this morning i was lucky and got what i came for: a chocolate chocolate donut sans sprinkles.
i sat down and the cute little lady who often smiles, clears my trash for me and always brings a second chair to my table for one, paused today after adding the chair. she set down her newspaper and at first i thought she was offering me some reading material.
then she pointed to the first letter and said "m. a. k. i. n. g. how you say?" and so i told her. we progressed through the entire headline ("making the 'mos' of your money" i've never hated puns so badly in all my life.) confusing "mos" with "mouth" and "of" with "up".
i'm certain i didn't make things clear to her, but i was kind of honored that she would ask me.